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Welcome, once again, to the Asylum my dear friends, and the world is crazier than ever. Isn’t it heart-warming to watch the global digital control grid wrap around humanity like a weighted blanket designed by a psychopath? Everywhere you look, governments are rolling out new ways to track us, scan us, monitor us, and probably judge our questionable life choices. Privacy? Oh please. That quaint relic disappeared somewhere between dial-up internet and the invention of the Ring doorbell. Everything you do, every email or text you send, and every phone call you make are monitored and recorded, even in America. The fourth amendment is a fully dead letter (here, here, and here). Initially, this collection was so much data the volume made it almost useless, but as AI gets better so does the ability to process and catalog the illegally collected data.

We now live in a full-blown “Big Brother Society,” except Big Brother has upgraded. He’s got AI, cloud storage, and a caffeine addiction. And the best part? People are already getting arrested for “thought crimes,” which is great, because who hasn’t wanted to be handcuffed for sending a spicy text, funny meme, or posting a selfie? I don’t think most people understand how far Agenda 2030 was pushed along with the Great Reset for the World Economic Forum (WEF). Europe is fully on board with the surveillance and control state and moving into the destruction of culture and national identity. America isn’t far behind. States like Illinois and California are pushing Agenda 2030 and WEF Great Reset changes as fast as they can.

But don’t worry, everything is totally fine. The authorities swear this is all to “keep us safe,” which is the same thing every villain says right before pushing the big red button. Let’s take a cheerful stroll through some signs the world is speed running toward Orwell’s nightmares, and is rapidly becoming a prison planet without walls.

1. British Man Arrested for Posting a Legal Photo in America; Global Justice at Its Finest: A man held a totally legal gun in Florida, posted it online. No threats, not danger, just ‘hey friends, look at this cool thing I did on holiday’, and boom he’s arrested back in the UK. An international crime wave stopped dead in its tracks. The message is clear: citizens should remember they live under extraterritorial parenting, where the UK government monitors your vacation photos like an overprotective mother who finally figured out how to use Instagram (here, here, and here).

2. The UK Builds a Nationwide Face-Scanning System; What a Time to Be Alive: Authorities in the UK are proudly rolling out a country-wide facial recognition system. Because nothing screams “public safety” like being involuntarily checked in to the surveillance equivalent of Disneyland every time you walk past a lamp post. Sure, the cameras routinely misidentify Black and Asian people, but relax the algorithm is trying its best. And if minorities get arrested for things they didn’t do, well at least the system’s learning, right? Progress! (here, here, and here).

3. UK Digital ID: Work Papers, but Make It Dystopian: The UK’s rolling out digital IDs you’ll need to work. No app, no job. Simple! It’s like being microchipped, but with better UI design. “You will not be able to work without digital ID,” they say. Oh good. I was worried the dystopia wasn’t mandatory enough (here, here, and here).

4. France Gives Macron the “Official Truth” Button; What Could Possibly Go Wrong? Macron wants the power to officially label certain media as “trustworthy” and block “false information,” because history has clearly shown that when governments get to decide what’s true, the results are always super fair and not disastrous at all. After all, if history teaches anything it’s governments should always be trusted to tell the truth, being fully open and honest (here, here, and here).

5. JPMorgan Chase Admits It Debanks People; Surprise! Jamie Dimon casually admitted JPMorgan “debanks” customers. But don’t worry, it’s nothing political or ideological it’s just a coincidence that unpopular opinions mysteriously come with sudden banking complications. Happens all the time! Like spontaneous combustion, but for checking accounts (here, here. and here).

6. AI Glasses That Identify Strangers Instantly; Say goodbye to the Last Shred of Anonymity: A journalist tested AI-powered glasses that can instantly identify strangers using public data. Great! Now every creep with $200 can know your name, job, and life story before you even make eye contact. Privacy is so dead, it’s not even a ghost anymore, and its chalk outline washed away (here, here, and here).

7. Woman Arrested Naked in Her Bathtub for Mean Texts; Peak Civilization Achieved. A 34-year-old woman was arrested by eleven officers while she was naked in the bathtub because she sent offensive texts from the hospital referring to the man who beat her nearly to death as a faggot. We can’t offend our abusers now can we. Eleven officers. For a text argument. While she was naked. It’s comforting to know that when real crime happens, the police are fully prepared to bust in on dripping civilians who said a rude word. Orwell wrote 1984; the UK wrote the slapstick reboot (here, here, and here).

8. India Wants Phone Tracking Always On; Your Personal Pocket Parole Officer: India is considering a measure forcing smartphone location services to stay permanently on. No off switch. No warning notifications. Just pure, uninterrupted tracking joy. Your phone will now know where you are even when you don’t. Finally,